it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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