i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
