i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
