Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
