im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think your dad took our porno
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
