Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm bleeding and have questions
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
