I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize