i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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