Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
