clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
