So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
