A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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