those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
