eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
