I am puke
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
