yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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