Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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