she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm just crazy horny about you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
