I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
