i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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