just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
