Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
