She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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