yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
