I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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