I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
