You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
