I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
