seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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