Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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