If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
