i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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