Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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