respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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