school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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