Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize