i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
