THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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