I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
