I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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