i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
