i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
