There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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