I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
