sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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