Acid is not a monday night drug
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
