She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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