just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
never play flip cup with pint glasses
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
