why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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