She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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