YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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