Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
