I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I know her cup size but not her name....
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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