i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
