There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You pole danced in your parka.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
