Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
