yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
